Here I am

I am back. In Utah that is. Today was the first day of my second week of class but already it feels like I've been studying since September. I've decided that the hardest part is fighting against my own will to be a good student. I know what to do, I'm smart, I can get good grades, but do I want to actually do what is necessary to get them? Not usually, no. If I could just accept that my life IS school right now, it wouldn't be so hard. I keep trying to find ways to balance having fun and studying and the truth is, that isn't possible for me because when I have fun, I don't study. It is a mind-set I get into that I can't get out of. Once I start studying, I don't stop and once I start playing, I don't stop. It's a vicious cycle. Man, this is boring. Sorry. But it is my life. Last week I taped study notes to the wall of the bath tub and studied while I took a bubble bath. That's pretty creative, huh? I'll get more creative someday, I promise, as for now, these really cool pictures of my friend Curtis and I on some train tracks will have to do.

Goodbye 2007

This was my Christmas. It was good. It was fun to have little kids open presents but as usual they had more fun playing with the wrapping paper than their gifts. Oh wait...that was me. The video is of my oldest nephew Caleb playing "sustain the callings." If you are familiar with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints then you will understand that he is pretending to be a Bishop or someone sustaining callings, after which he raises his hand. It was soooo hilarious he did it for about five minutes or so. He just jabbers on and on until he stops and then raises his hand. The funniest part is that he stands there with his hands spread wide like he is a man of authority standing at the podium. Unfortunately we were laughing too hard to get the video camera out so we only caught the last one and then he got distracted by some popcorn. If you are not familiar with the sustaining of callings, check out this website:
www.lds.org.
Enjoy!

Relationship(wreck)

I've been thinking a lot about relationships and how lucky I am to not have tons of past failed relationships. I am not talking strictly romantic relationships but friendships and relatives also. While these are good learning experiences, I believe in my case I have learned from the many VERY GOOD relationships I have had as opposed to the few bad ones. Instead of learning what I don't want and how NOT to act in dealing with others, I have had GOOD examples of what SHOULD happen in successful relationships. It really is a much easier way to learn things and probably has a lot less heartache. Something important I have realized is the truth of the statement "True love is not so much a matter of romance as it is an anxious concern for the well being of one's companion" by the Prophet Gordon B. Hinkley. While it is truly up to you the feelings and reactions you choose to have to any given situation, in a good relationship, it is also truly up to you to have an anxious concern for that person and their feelings toward a situation. Here is one way of looking at an ideal relationship: Each person decides individually for them self that they have 100% control over the way he/she chooses to feel about something and acts as though the success of that relationship depends solely on him/her, AND each party takes it upon his/herself for the happiness and success (anxious concern) of the other person. That way by your powers combine I AM CAPTAIN PLANET!!!....no just kidding but you really would have 200% combined effort in the happiness and success of the relationship. These are just a few of my thoughts.

I'm home now.

Somehow it doesn't seem right. I always go through this period of "void" after finals where I know I should have feelings for something but I don't have them. There are so many feelings to have and I don't have any. This is the first phase. The next phase is the opposite where I have too many feelings for everyone and everything. I'm not looking forward to this phase because I usually end up crying and I hate crying. This time I have good reason for crying too. fAmiLY. They are the cause and reason for our greatest happiness and our greatest sorrows. WHY? Because we love them and when family hurts, we hurt. Someday I'll understand.

FINALS

Yea Yea Yea!!

The snow can be fun!! I had no idea. I did something yesterday that I can now cross off my life-list.
-Make cute generic snowman with carrot nose and top hat. CHECK.
I found out that having the right equipment can make snow/cold enjoyable. Waterproof boots. Warm coat. gloves. Who knew. I guess it took a couple years for me to learn that, and a roommate from Denver with snow galoshes.
I feel like I haven't really expressed or exercised my writing creativity on this blog in a long time and I should but I don't really have the desire. School has sucked every last bit of creative thinking out of me because all I do is shove my brain full of very relevant information (HA!) and then spit it back out on paper. So this is all I have and for right now it's good enough.

I made it!!

Grateful things:
1) warm(er) wheather
2) Mom
3) family
4) babies
5) Good people
6) Food
7) no school